Akan ku rindui kebaikanmu.








Yours faithfully,
Me.

Inner-self talk.

There comes new post.



Deep down inside, I have no idea who I am right now. Never gonna be easy this world. 

Thus, there's something I can't explain to you. Stay. Just stay there would you please?
I'm holding tight, real tight to You.



There must be reason for I am being allocated here. Stay strong, dear self. 



Dear you, 
You sure wanna know who I am truly? If one thing would disappoint you after knowing me, will you stay or otherwise you will leave me behind faaaaaar away like I have never imagine? But I do hope you stay right there, not that far that I can reach you from within. Let all be memories, for me and you :) Just be there. Will youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu? T_T


#in.need.of.hugs.
#I.mean.big.and.warm.hugs

:)
:)
:)

the perks of my undertakings

Dear me,

keep stronger each day for life is not easy, really. take good vitamins every morning to keep you healthier and happier to stay on this world, before you leave and move to another world hereafter. thus, bear in mind that with every difficulties come relieves :)

I did many mistakes, and I still do. to skip one big significant of yours, was not a very brilliant decision. though, I did not regret of doing that. I was lost (again) and total blur when considering to go or no go for  my convocation day. what an excuse..... duhh!~

despite that, I enjoyed my class here. but then, reminiscing memories and talking to my friends (in cyber world) made me almost want to go run to UKM and hug my friends there, or wherever they are. I almost wanna cry, also. urgh :P but lillahita'ala, I believe we, the physicist 11/14 will meet again someday, talking and hugging literally to each other. I sure cannot wait for that moment to come. it's where we belong. we all wanna fly, hence I won't say goodbye. do keep in contact. for you are all still, in my hearts. until today, I have faith and keep in mind that you are all my supporters. else, who's gonna support me, right? besides family, of course. I hereby wanna ask you all for apologies if I happen to misbehave or hurt your feelings, by purpose or otherwise. let us clean our hearts by making doa to each other, yes? :D

love,
me :) 
#stillme

Talking about me, aye

I have come to know that this world has become smaller.




Live life to the fullest!

Saya pemalu

1. Where have you been?
 Living in the cities, which you never see on screen T___T

2. Who was the last person to call you?
my sister, asking me is it okay for her to come a lil bit late. it's fine, i said.

3. What happen to your car?
I don't even own a car by my name. Do you mind giving me one? Huhu

4. Who made you smile today? :)
ooooh, many of them! let see... emm miss Yang, my sister obviously, and him (huahua!!)

5. Who is your partner today?
I feel very lucky to have none today. hahahah.. we did individual work today. so yeah, I am grateful. huhu :P

6. What have you forgotten lately?
myself? erk.

7. What makes you beautiful?
Everyone around me. lame. heh

8. Any wisdom or saying that you learn today?
There are 2; Ibn Taymyyah used to say: "The point is not how weak you started but how strong you ended." and Al-Hasan Al-Basri used to say: "Excel in what remains, and the past will be forgiven."

9. Who gives you flower?
No one?

10. Any event that makes you regret?
This coming Monday, is my convocation day which, have I decided not to go. Ya Allah, give me strength for me to be calm and carry on my life :(

11. One thing that makes you feel alive everyday?
Him.

12. Have you done any bad today?
Thinking and talking bad about people. Is that a crime?

13. Have you listen to westlife songs today?
I have! Beautiful in white! ;)

14. Which country you wish to go right now?
Pulau Sipadan? I find the island very cleannnn and clear water! Turkey, to ziarah kubur Ammar. Umrah again, with better preparation maybe?

15. Song you are currently listening to...
Right next to you, Brown ft Bieber

16. Did you stalk any FB of your friend today?
Hihi. Yep I did :D :D he's a boy, lolllll

17. How do you feel this evening?
Good :) Difficulties are temporary, keep that in mind!

18. Any wish?
To meet you tomorrow yawwww ;P gatai sangat nih paseipa, haha






...........esok ada koko la, kawad! T_____________________T

#Ineedavacationnow
#Tillthen




 

Stop me please :P

#This is Nawal, writing and vomiting all her dramas into this blog. Pity you dear blog :P



Dear Ked,

Hi :P 
How have you been? It has been a looooong time since I made up stories about you *HAHA*
I'm adjusting my life well. It's good to talk to u because it has been a while since I feel a bit lost. And today, thank u for the sweet smile, smart-looking appearance and most of it is your kindness!! You know what, I have no idea how to stop smiling from ear to ear until this evening!! Hence, it is the reason I have to post about you in this blog. HAHAHAHAHA :))


Dear you,
I hope you're adjusting your life well too. Be good and strong, as you always do :) 
I make doa for you, so that you wake up everyday with sincerity and smile on you face... like this ---> :D 

Do not worry about me though. As long as I see u smiling every time we bump into each other (or rather every time I take a sneaky peek on u :P) I will surely be cool and macho because I am like that  ^_____________^

Cheers! I get back to u later, k!

See u soon, Ked!




Sincerely,
 Nawal 

[13.10.2014; 1900]

Aku pinjam semangatmu, wahai Ammar!

Mana kan ku dapat;

menghayati pahit manis juangmu jika tidak aku di jalan ini,
menikmati ujian yang diberikan supaya lebih dekat kepada Tuhan,
merasai apa itu perang melawan nafsu,
mengingati perjalanan para anbiya, para auliya, serta yang lainnya,
mensyukuri peluang dan segala apa yang telah dikurniakan kepadaku selama ini.


Walau terkulai layu, 
patah semangat jituku,
lemah emosiku,
longlai jasadku,

Apa lagi yang harus aku pinta selain pedoman, taufik & hidayah, serta rahmat dan redhaMu.

Tuhan,
sudahku rasai apa itu kehilangan,
sudahku hadapi pelbagai tekanan,
sudahku tangisi ujian kerana perasaan,

tapi;
sudahkah aku mensyukuri apa yang telah Kau berikan?
sudahkah aku belajar dari kesilapan lalu?
sudahkah aku berikan yang terbaik dan tersungguh dari kudratku ini?

Tuhan,
adakah aku tersedia sepenuhnya untuk menghadapi sakaratul mautmu?
adakah aku tersedia menerima hukuman atas janji yang tidak tertunai?
adakah aku sudah taubat sepenuhnya atas apa yang telah ku buat?
adakah aku sudah menjadi aku untuk menghadap Mu ya Tuhan?

Ammar,
aku merasai kini sebahagian apa yang kau lalui,
cabaran untuk menjadi manusia sebenar benar manusia,
dugaan untuk menjadi muslim yang sempurna,
ujian untuk menetapkan iqtikad yang sempurna,
apatah lagi untuk menjadi suci dari ikhlas,
untuk menjadi sabar dari redha,
untuk menanggung ilmu dengan rahmatnya Tuhan,
dengan syufaatnya Rasulullah, 
dengan berkatnya guru,
dengan karamahnya wali,
dengan restu ibu ayah,
dengan redha nya aku atas diriku.

Ya Rahman Ya Rahim,
Ampunilah segala dosa guruku,
ibu bapaku,
dosa-dosa silamku,
berikanlah kami semua kesihatan yang baik,
umur yang panjang untuk berbakti kepada bangsa, agama, dan negara,
akal yang cerdas, waras, serta tajam,
dan fikiran yang matang,
kuatkanlah ingatan kami,
berikanlah bantuanMu di kala kami kesusahan,
limpahkan cahaya Nur Mu dalam hati-hati kami,
sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Esa lagi Maha Berkuasa,
atas tiap-tiap sesuatu yang kami lakukan.


Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.




Z.
[9.10.2014, 2300hrs]

Ini hidup.

**********************************************
Sejurus rehat pertama bermula, terus aku turun ke surau tepi pejabat workshop. Seperti biasa, ada mak cik cleaner ni dalam surau, merehatkan diri. Ya, tak mungkin kita nak bekerja 24 jam 7 hari tanpa henti pulak kan. Heh. Belum tengah hari pun ni, perut tak lapar. Waktu rehat berbaki 20 minit. Apa nak buat nii. *tepuk dahi* Oii, kan boleh solat dhuha ni! *Ouch, that's hurt :P, says me*

Usai solat, aku bertafakur. Membahagiakan minda yang serba serbi serabutnya. Tapi dahsyat, aku dah bertahan 5 jam dari pagi tadi! Syabas untuk diri sendiri, Nawal! Pagi tadi pulak berjaya bangun 5 minit sebelum pukul 5 pagi. Good achievement! Tomorrow will wake up 10 minutes earlier pulak.. hikss~

###########

Roll-call. Waktu paling havoc sekali kat square parade ni. Fuhhh panaihnya baq hangg..

Tapi best je sebenarnya, dapat tengok jejaka maskulin berkawad... dan dalam masa yang sama, terselit pulak beberapa wanita feminin diantara barisan. Cuteeeee kan, I know! Haha :P

Nak balikkkk! Nak makannn! Nak lepak atas katil!

*Gedebukkkkkkkkk*

Huuuu.. musibah apa pulak ni.... drama melayu ke? T_T berterabur barang aku kat locker room nih. How laaa~~ sakit lutut takleh blah! Kuat sangat berangan ke aku ni sampai kaki pun tersadung kat bench panjang ni. Aduiii.. nasib baik takde orang. Angkut aje la barang-barang ni.

Jalan pulangku agak terganggu dengan lutut yang mula berdantam dentumkan tanda untuk lebam. Sabor... nak sampai dah rumah ni. Nak balik terus ke nak beli makanan.. nak masak penat pulak..

###########

Esoknya, memang terhinggut la aku berjalan. Tabah, tabah.. Datang A'an dengan Finn. Tolong angkat beg, mulia sungguh hati diorang ni. Tapi beg aku kosong! Barang semua dalam locker. Bertuah punya kawan-kawan! Tau je diorang ni aku tinggal barang dalam locker.

"Lain kali hati-hati. Jangan banyak sangat berangan, jalan tengok depan"

Aik.. makhluk mana pulak ni. Pakai spek, rupa...handsome la jugak. Tapi, ehh.. bukan semalam aku sorang je ke dalam locker room nih?!

****************************************************************************




Z.
[8.10.14, 1908hrs]

Live Life to The Fullestttt~

Let me tell u the story of my life during these days. 

Ups and downs within few months made me strengthen myself. No words would describe how amazingly I turned myself up and faced all the downs. So hard I would say. I was lost in my own world. I was happy by then and suddenly bad news came up. But for sure, I survived!

I kept reminding myself what have I said and promised to the panels, some people and even my own self. Once said, considered to be done till the last breath. Two choices came up for me to think of every time I wake up.


To treasure every moment for another coming years is the motivation. To survive alone and die hard surviving are my inspirations. Though some take this programme lightly, but I take it seriously. 

How to survive? Let me be. Allah is always there. What more could I ask for after having the penultimate wish I have been wanting so bad? 

Last but not least, 

CARPE DIEM!

Z.

[Aug-Oct 2014]

The awkward moment............

.....is when to miss someone sometwo and some-infinity. Ahem.


#thisisRaya
#thisishowIRaya
#showmehowtoRaya
#cousz
_____________________________________________________________


I look at the sky
It looks back at me
I can't hear the silent melodies;
I need a place to hide away,
Just for a while,
Just for a smile ;)

For you Ked,
(If only I know you exist for real)
I'll stay with you come hell or high water
Just so you know, Ked
This world is getting tougher

And surely you know
How strong to struggle ~versus

[Nawal] 

______________________________

 This is humanity.
 

and

this is life! :)

~Salam Lebaran~

[Aidilfitri 2014]

3 tahun beberapa bulan berlalu

Tersentak dari lamunan. Paling ke belakang.
Bunyi tapak kasut silih berganti. Semua mata memerhati kini.

"Kau ok?"
"Aku alright selalu" sambil sengih.

"Assalammualaikum!" ceria dan hampir serentak kedua-duanya menyampaikan salam.






......dan yang lainnya, masih terkesima, terkedu di situ.